Dear Diary,

I found the frequent blog posts to be difficult to attend to every other night. Same with my written journal. I have activities and homework each day except for Monday, including weekends. I do not have much time for personal items such as watching Gilmore Girls, writing in my blog, checking my email, simple items such as these I cannot complete often, and I have promised myself I would organize my schedule better and I will start with these changes. I will start this new schedule on Sunday. I hope you can hold on to your hats and wait for another post from me. I hope you will read my last post, for I have to comment in this post and add yet more stressful information.

I have accepted the fact that last year's best friends may not necessarily be this year's friends. I am ashamed because most of the reason is myself. At the end of last year, when Elizabeth and I had become distant, I felt I needed to protect our relationship by acting needy and I clung to her like a paper clip on a magnet. I wrote her emails and letters describing my sorrow for the actions I have performed. I now realize that my actions only made our relationship worse. Louisa and Elizabeth I know will remain best friends forever. The two have known each other since the early years of elementary school and spend time together at the same camp each summer.

Most of the blame lies on my shoulders. But I do reject the fact that neither of them have tried to nor noticed the change in our relationship. Neither of them called me when I returned from camp.
I feel as if I have always been the one to call and make plans, while Katherine, Elizabeth, and Louisa sit and wait for the phone to ring. I feel like the one in the relationship who has to arrange the plans and call the other. I have tried to increase our friendship while almost none of them have made plans.
I know I sound selfish, but I want to be called and treated to an event a couple of times.

I will start a new topic: high school. Your friends ask which high school you will go to next year. The problem I have: I don't know! I am considering about 4 or 5 high schools, while others know already. One has a overwhelming amount of students and an overwhelming size of school. One has fewer students, but a big campus. Two others are small and a small amount of students, and one is medium sized and a medium sized amount of students. My friends pressure me to attend the most popular, overwhelming school, we will call NT. I have a preference for the fewer student school, big campus school that we will call Lo. The other three I do not know about.

I will wrap this post up with one word: PRESSURE!

~Meg/Horselvr1188